4.4.23
While I’ve always been an empath, exhausted and overwhelmed by crowds, lets save the “introvert versus extrovert” conversation for another day. When it comes down to it, I’m comfortable defining my shyness as “occasionally debilitating.”
When I was younger, teachers at mommy and me class assumed I was deaf. I would not react or participate. I would just stare. At home, however, my mother saw a very different side of me. I was imaginative, playful, and energetic.
“I wish people could see the outgoing side of her personality,” my mom would whisper as she observed me at play.
Out in the public, however, I continued to regress and became silenced by situations. Why? Was something wrong? No! As it turns out, I wasn’t just staring. I was soaking it all in, and this is an extraordinarily common milestone.
While some children lack boundaries and insert themselves into social situations, others hold back. Reserved children cling to the side of caution before diving into social situations blind. I was option B… on steroids.
As an adult, I have overcome this shyness through a series of coping mechanisms. Taking part in acting classes was the first step in the right direction. The most impactful step, however, was taken by my mom; she catered to my needs.
Accepting and flexible, my mother would rehearse me for social situations in advance of the events. Rehearsals included sensory topics (I.e. what I would see, hear, smell, feel, taste…) and conversational practice. Techniques like these, in addition to her emotional support, helped me thrive in social settings.
As of 2015, I became a graduate of Kean University’s School of Communication, Media, and Journalism and received my bachelors in public relations. In the same year, I became certified in the Theory and Practice of Child Life from UCSB, a healthcare profession that specializes in play therapy. Child Life Specialists help kids endure and overcome the challenges of hospitalization, illness, and disability.
As of 2018, I opened an LLC (now a 501c3 nonprofit, Colie Creations Inc) whose mission is to advocate for children and patients through different storytelling. Current platforms include musicals, children’s books, blogs, and more.
With all of that said, I am very passionate about play. My mother didn’t know it at the time, but our “rehearsals” were just different versions of play. Play is often associated with toys, but its an essential tool for a child’s development. Children must be taught how to play to reap the benefits, like cognitive, physical, social, and emotional well-being; stronger imagination and creativity; improved literacy; independence; and physical fitness.
More complex, there are different types of play, and each serves a different purpose. According to Healthline, “Parten [documented] six stages of play: unoccupied play… solitary play… parallel play… associative play… cooperative play… and onlooker play. You can expect onlooker play to begin when your toddler reaches between 2 1/2 and 3 1/2 years of age.”
Okay! We’ve officially determined that many children go through an onlooker stage, myself included. Now what? Good news! Tips for parents of onlookers are available in my new book, “Rooker The Looker,” including types of play that will be beneficial to your onlooker!
Keep an eye out for its release date on Amazon Prime!