Nesting

According to the American Pregnancy Association, nesting is “the urge to clean and organize; or the overwhelming desire to get your home ready for your new baby.” Seems simple enough, yes? Not for me.

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Planning and Panel

.Planning

My husband, mother, and I were technically licensed for age newborn to 18. However, we chose a preference of newborn to age 8. My mother and I were pushing for a newborn. My husband was pushing for an 8-year-old. (Less poopy diapers.) Either way, I had several questions.

How was I supposed to design a bedroom that can easily and aesthetically accommodate both an 8-year-old boy and a 1-year-old girl? How do I satisfy my own needs as a mother who desperately wants to design a nursery? What did other foster parents have in their homes prior to getting a placement? What did we need? How permanent should the items be? How do you get them without breaking the bank? 

My original plan was to buy a bunch of highly rated, permanent furniture: “These poor children will show up to our doorstep sight unseen with a garbage bag full of their belongings. The least we can do is give them a super nice bedroom. Plus, we can blow our friends and family away with our great choices.” 

Panel

This mindset was quickly (and fortunately) trumped on our final day of TIPS-MAPP class. Staged as a Q+A panel, we had the opportunity to ask seasoned foster parents how they made this arrangement work. Most of the seasoned parents looked at me like I was crazy. In their defense, I am a very anxious planner, but their answer was simple. Just have a few compact things on hand, things that can accommodate a placement overnight. Examples include a pack and play and perhaps a twin bed. On the first night, the kids just need something. 

I struggled with this concept because my goal was to give the kids everything. Isn’t the first night with a new family a big deal? Don’t first impressions matter? Apparently, my mindset was due for a change. I had to start thinking creatively, not emotionally, but I was impatient. I was too excited to dive in. Regardless of the end result, something had to give.